


This Desperate Moment

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22015861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Jester and Caleb spend the last night before facing the Chained Oblivion together. Or at least they would if Jester gets her way.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	This Desperate Moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EyeLoch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyeLoch/gifts).



> So I picked up an extra Secret Santa for the Widojest Secret Santa event and lucked out and got Eyeloch. He requested Selfish Selflessness, Before the Final Battle, and Cantrips and Cuddles, so I combined the three prompts into one fic. 
> 
> I hope you like it Eye. Oh, and the title comes from the song Night on Earth by Jerkcurb.

Caleb was edgy that night, but all of the Mighty Nein were on edge that night. The next day they were going to have to face the Chained Oblivion and probably Caleb’s old mentor Trent Ikithon while they were at it. That thought didn’t sit well with Jester. She’d heard all about what the gross old man had done to Caleb and she just wanted to hit him with a lollipop. And that was probably going to happen the next day.

But it didn’t make that night any easier. There was a suffocating air of nervousness in the Lavish Chateau. Caleb had managed to give Nott her old body back, and she was Veth now and with her family. Nott, or rather Veth, was still going to help them with the big battle the next day, but for now, it was time for her to be with her family. Which left Caleb alone.

He kept saying that he was fine and just wanted to do a bit of studying that night, but Jester couldn’t shake the feeling that she shouldn’t leave him alone. There was a strange sad smile on his face whenever he thought she wasn’t looking. “Caleb?” she asked knocking on the door of his guest room.

“Ja?” Caleb answered the door. He still had on his Xhorhas clothes which Jester always thought he looked handsome in. “Do you need something Jester?”

Jester shrugged. “I don’t know. Just didn’t feel like being alone, you know?”

Caleb nodded. “Ja, I think I can understand that. But don’t you have your mother?”

“She has a client tonight.” Jester leaned against Caleb(not too much though, she didn’t want to knock him over). They didn’t really have a word for what their relationship had evolved into. She knew that it was more than friendship with intimate touches, but they’d hadn’t kissed yet and neither of them was in a rush to make it deeper than it was. It felt like giving what they had a name would destroy it, so it was a quiet agreement.

“Ah,” Caleb said. He rested his head against hers. “Then I suppose you want to stay with me tonight?”

Jester nodded. “Can I?”

“Ja, you can.” Caleb took her hand and tugged her into his room. Normally, he would’ve shared it with Nott, but her family was here now.

A book was left open on the desk. “Whatcha reading?” Jester asked.

“Just some notes. I’m trying to decide what spells I’ll need tomorrow,” Caleb said.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to need to pray to the traveler tonight and figure out what spells I should prepare too.” It was scary to think of what the next day held for them, but just being around Caleb made Jester feel better.

Caleb picked up his book and closed it. “So what did you want to do?”

“You don’t have to stop for me,” Jester said. “I just wanted to be here.”

“Oh,” Caleb said quietly. “I’m glad you’re here then.”

Jester plopped down on his bed. “It’s scary, you know? I mean we’re super strong and there’s no way we’re going to lose, but it doesn’t stop it from being scary.”

Caleb nodded sitting down next to her. “Ja, I know what you mean. I wish that we didn’t have to do this. Didn’t have to fight foul gods or my teacher.”

“Well, technically, we could still run away and live on a desert island all by ourselves. We’d eat coconuts and it’d be our own country and Frumpkin could be our king.”

Caleb snickered. “I believe he would make for a cruel tyrant demanding we bow to his every whim.”

“We’d pay taxes in mice and catnip,” Jester said with a grin.

“I think Fjord would try to stage a coup,” Caleb pointed out.

Jester kicked her legs back and forth. “I guess we’ll have to stay here then and fight.”

“Ja, I guess so.” He grabbed Jester’s hand lightly. “What if I made it so you didn’t have to fight?”

“What are you talking about?” Jester frowned at Caleb.

He waved away her concern. “Nothing, it’s nothing.”

“Cay-leb!” Jester draped herself over his shoulders. “If there’s something on your mind, I want to hear it.”

“It’s just half a thought. Something I’m working on, but it’s not ready yet. Now get off. You’re making Frumpkin jealous,” Caleb said.

Jester pouted. “But Caleb, I need to be here.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “And why do you need to be on my shoulder?”

“I’m casting guidance,” Jester said. “So I need to be touching you.”

“Ah. Should I be asking why I’m in need of your holy guidance? I’m not doing anything.”

Jester blew in his ear and Caleb ducked down nearly throwing her balance. “You’re spending time with me, Caleb. That’s doing something.”

“I don’t need any extra blessings to do that. Spending time with you is easy, Jester. Besides, being with you is blessing enough.”

She could feel her face turning warm. It was a silly and small thing, but it was the sort of thing she liked hearing from Caleb. “Maybe we should go out tomorrow like this. I can be good luck for you.”

Caleb laughed making Jester grin. She was getting him to laugh more and more and was proud of it. “Ja, but maybe you would be more useful as something other than my scarf. Besides I’m not strong enough to hold you up.”

“I’m not that heavy,” Jester said with a pout.

“Ja, but I’m very weak. My arms are noodles, remember? And I can barely carry Frumpkin as it is,” Caleb said. His expression softened. “I’ll be where I need to be the whole battle. Don’t worry.”

Jester shook her head. “I’m not. It’s just that.” She shrugged with a sigh. “Okay, maybe a little bit, but you’re super squishy Caleb, so don’t go wandering from my sight.”

A brief sad look crossed his face, but it was gone as soon as it came. “Ja, I won’t, my friend.” There was something about Caleb that was different than usual. Like his smile was brighter or maybe there was just something about being close to him that put Jester at ease. “Actually, I do need to leave you, but just for a moment.”

“How come?” Jester asked. The idea of him leaving even for just a moment put a sour taste in her mouth.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Caleb said. “It won’t be long.”

Jester giggled. “Caleb,” she asked, “are you a nervous pooper?”

A hint of grin crossed his face. “You found me out.” Caleb paused for a moment a solemn expression now on his face, and he placed a kiss on her forehead before hurrying out the room.

Jester gasped and touched where he kissed her mouth agape. He’d never done anything like that before. Her cheeks reddened and a giddiness grew in her as she waited for him. After nearly a minute of waiting, the giddiness went cold. Caleb had cast a spell on her. One that made her more agreeable to what he told her. All so he could sneak away. She tore out of the room trying to find where he could’ve gone. A lilting whisper tickled her ear and Jester turned to look out the window.

Out in the street, Caleb was working on a ritual circle. A teleportation circle. “Caleb!” Jester shouted and she ran down the stairs. When she got out on the street, Caleb was finishing the circle. They locked eyes and a sad smile quirked his lips. “I’m sorry.” And then he was gone.

* * *

It was a terrible and selfish thing to do. Caleb was very aware of that. But it wasn’t like he had any other choice. Ikithon was his problem, no one else’s. So it was on Caleb to take care of Ikithon and clear the way for the rest to take on the Chained Oblivion. He felt that it was his only option, but that didn’t do anything for the pit of guilt in his stomach.

With a snap of his fingers, Caleb summoned Frumpkin after leaving the Cobalt Soul(it took him a few minutes to explain that he was on official business from Expositor Lionett and yes, he really should’ve sent a message before just showing up in the teleportation room). Frumpkin meowed at him staring at him. “Oh don’t give me that, my conscience is giving me enough trouble. Maybe I shouldn’t have left them like this, but I couldn’t let Ikithon hurt them. You know that.” He scooped the cat up into his arms.

“It’s too late for second thoughts as it is anyways,” Caleb said. “We’re already in Rexxentrum and it’s not like I can just poof back to Nicodranas on a whim.” Frumpkin gave him a judging look. Or at least Caleb thought it was judging. “Well, maybe I can, but I can’t. Ikithon is my responsibility and no one else’s. We should be going.”

Casting a disguise on himself, Caleb slunk through the streets of Rexxentrum. Just being there made Caleb want to jump out of his skin, but he didn’t have time to panic. So instead, he wandered the streets looking like the dirty vagabond he once was. It probably was simple to look through his disguise with the right spells, but it felt good to have it up. His progress through the city was slow to keep suspicion off himself. Soon Caleb and Frumpkin stood outside the gates of the Soltryce Academy. He set the cat down on the ground. “Keep on eye on things out here,” Caleb whispered. “I’ll be joining you shortly.”

With a drunken stumble, Caleb found an alleyway he could slump down in and blend in with the beggars and drunks of Rexxentrum. He closed his eyes and then opened them again in Frumpkin. The cat had settled down and watched as people came and went from the academy. Caleb wished he could send Frumpkin inside the school itself, but the cat would be certainly seen for the familiar he was, which was something Caleb couldn’t risk.

As Frumpkin entered his second hour of watch, Caleb was starting to doubt his plan. Maybe Ikithon wasn’t at the school. Maybe the archmage had caught wind of what the Mighty Nein were planning. Maybe Caleb was just wasting his time.

Frumpkin got up with a very cat-like stretch, and suddenly his view jolted and rose. He’d been picked up. Caleb tried to look around, but the grip on Frumpkin was too tight for the cat to look around. As he began to snap his fingers, a hand grabbed Caleb’s shoulder.

Caleb opened his human eyes to see Jester there glaring him. An anger he rarely saw rested her and it was a sight to behold. He’d known that hostility and her hating him was a likely outcome of his Friends cantrip, but that didn’t ease the ache in his chest. This was what he deserved. “Jester,” he whispered. He didn’t even deserve to say her name, but he couldn’t stop himself from whispering it.

“I’m super angry at you,” Jester said. “I hope you know that.”

“Ja, I do. And I deserve it,” Caleb said. “I ran.”

Jester frowned at him. “Why?”

“Because I’m a coward.”

She shook her head. “No, cowards don’t run towards stupid things that can kill them. Were you trying to get yourself killed?” Her voice shook and sounded fragile.

Caleb looked away. “Nein. Ikithon, he’s my problem not yours. I didn’t want him hurting you, any of you.”

“Cay-leb, your problems are our problems. If you really looked at things that way, then Avantika was just Fjord’s problem and you wouldn’t have set her ship on fire. Or when that jerk guy was bugging my mom, you wouldn’t have helped her. We share our problems now,” Jester said.

“You can’t share this one, Jester,” Caleb said. “He’s a monster and he’s hurt too many people I loved. I can’t let him hurt you too. I can’t lose one more thing I love and not break.”

Jester’s grip on Caleb’s shoulder tightened. “I can’t let you get hurt either. I can’t lose you, Caleb.” She was trying to keep glaring at him, but her eyes were watering and the rest of her was trembling. All at once, she drew Caleb into a hug. “I was so scared. I, I thought that, that you hated me when you left.” Her breathing hitched and she cried great wracking sobs into his shoulder.

“Jester!” Caleb wrapped his arms around her wishing he could be as comforting as Frumpkin. “It’s not like that at. It was the opposite of that,” he said once her crying quieted enough for him to be heard. “I … love you, Jester. I thought that I could never love again, but you proved me wrong. Just like you proved that I could laugh again and be a good person again. I couldn’t let Ikithon hurt you.”

“Then you should’ve said something,” Jester said waterily.

Caleb continued to hold her. “How? You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. How can someone like me say that they love you? You deserve better.”

“No, I don’t. I can’t imagine anyone better than a smelly wizard who lets me draw googly eyes in his spellbooks and gives me smut books and his cat forever. Who puts my safety first and is brave and dumb at the same time. What’s better than that?”

“Wouldn’t you rather have a handsome warlock paladin or a buff monk?” Caleb asked.

Jester shook her head. “No. I want my smelly wizard. Even if he runs into danger by himself when he should know better.” She let go of him and looked up at him. “I want him to be mine. No matter what sort of gross gods or gross old men we have to fight. I want to fight them with my wizard.”

“Then he’s yours.”


End file.
